It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
