Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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