oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
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