is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
