K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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