She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
