garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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