I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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