Its about making memories worth repressing
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
