i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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