The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Randomize
