so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
