i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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