Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
