i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I wish my penis had an off switch
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
