I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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