I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
