That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
