Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
why didn't you poke me back
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
