i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
