You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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