The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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