he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
