before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
