he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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