Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Do vagina's smell?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
