i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
