drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
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The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
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Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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