hell yes lets make some ravioli
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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