i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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