just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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