Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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