i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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