Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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