the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize
