whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
