You just made me feel so damn special
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
