he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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