She is in my trunk
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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