My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
