Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
