so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
