i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
