apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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