"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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