Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
