YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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