Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
