would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
