Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
