There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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