Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize