I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
