bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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