I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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