I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
