There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
