I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
