She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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