No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
