Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I should be sponsored by Trojan
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Randomize
