last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize