she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
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This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
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Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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