do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
