He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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